Archives for category: Decisions

I’ve broken lots of ‘rules’.

I’ve not stuck to one job since leaving school. I’m paring down my possessions to only my most loved / most useful / most used. I don’t go shopping for the sake of shopping…

I’ve trained, retrained, started a business, stopped a business, started another one, trained again, had numerous jobs and contracts…

I’ve followed passions. I’ve read books and watched movies when work deadlines were looming. I’ve walked kilometres just for the hell of it. I’ve left the house to dance without doing the dishes first. I rarely make my bed in the morning…

Hardly the poster-child of obedience!

In his post “Confusing obedience with self-control” Seth Godin points out the danger of being obedient:

“We organize our schools around obedience. Tests, comportment, the very structure of the day is about training young people to follow instructions.

We organize our companies around obedience as well. From the resume we use to hire to the training programs to the annual budgets, revenue targets and reviews we create, the model employee is someone who does what he’s told.”

I don’t believe I’m the most self-controlled person around (especially when it comes to potato chips and chocolate!) but I’m doing my best to be more aware of when I’m unconsciously obedient, when it may not actually be beneficial to me.

According to Seth,

“Self-control is without a doubt one of the building blocks of success, a key element of any career worth talking about. We need self-control if we’re going to make a difference.”

Is self-control the difference between doing what’s important instead of just the urgent?

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Life is full of surprises.

Do you plan for them?

This blog post is a short, sharp reminder that “because we are always changing, and the world is always changing, our plans will always change.”

I heard someone recently say that business plans should really be renamed ‘business guesses’.

I like that.

Deep down I know the decision has already been made.

The time has come to end this.

Yet the history, the shared experiences, the memories, the friendships, the fun, the learning… all get in the way of consciously standing tall and saying “Thank you. I’m done.”

I’ve lost count how many years I have been intertwined with the organisation. It has provided me education and inspiration. It’s members have provided brains to pick, ears to listen and shoulders to lean on. I like to think I have been able to return the favour along the way.

Can I put my finger on the ‘why’? Why do I want to step back? Why now?

No. It’s simply a feeling that won’t go away.

It’s time to say good-bye to that feeling.

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The original post ended here. Within minutes of the link appearing on Facebook I was receiving concerned messages and phone calls from worried friends who had read between the lines and were worried about me. Thus, please continue reading for ‘more’…

–//–

When I read back over what I wrote just a few short hours ago, I can now see why people were concerned. I should have written “The time has come to end this relationship” or something similar.

What’s it all about? For 10+ years I’ve been a member of the National Speakers Association of New Zealand. This morning I resigned.

Saying good-bye hurts. Whether it’s a relationship with someone you love(d), a favourite piece of worn-out clothing or even letting go one option in favour of another, they all come with a sense of loss.

This post was simply sharing how I was feeling. I won’t pretend that since completing my trek everything has been rosy – in fact the past few years have been amongst the most challenging I’ve encountered. I continue my search for my ‘bounce’, which I sense is lurking not far away, but still tantalisingly out of reach, or hidden, or waiting…

I am humbled by how people are looking out for me and more importantly, took the initiative to make contact when they sensed something was amiss. To you all – thank you.

I always seem to have a long list of to-do items. Generally, they’re ‘ho-hum’ instead of ‘yehaa!’.

I’ve even tried calling them ta-da! items, in preparation for when they’re completed…

Why does it seem that if something’s NOT on the list it is automatically more appealing to do?

Today, instead of completing the preparation for next weekend’s after-dinner speech, or updating all my social media profiles, or wading through a mass of SCOUTS and National Speakers Association emails, I shifted a heavy-as sunbed for my friend.

Did it have to be done today? No.

Was it on my to-do list, moving me closer to my overall objectives for the week/month/year? Nope.

Does it feel good to have helped out and made a difference for a mate? Yup.

Sometimes the ‘wrong’ thing is the right thing to do.

“Sunshine is delicious, rain is refreshing, wind braces us up, snow is exhilarating; there is really no such thing as bad weather, only different kinds of good weather.”
John Ruskin, author, art critic, and social reformer (1819-1900)

I didn’t beat the snow home on Monday; Wellington airport closed before I could escape the capital.

Today the hill I’m staying on (with friends, not in a tent!) was covered in snow. Much less than what has accumulated in Christchurch, but still enough for kids to make snowmen and satellite dishes to freeze up.

It got me thinking about weather…

Mother Nature is in charge. For all the time and money and effort we spend on trying to come up with a forecast, there is nothing we can do to change what each day brings.

So if there’s nothing we can do about it, why do we fret about it? Why do we spend so much time talking about it? Even complaining about it?

Some people this week will be cursing the snow, upset that it has interfered with their plans, disrupted their schedule. Others will be thrilled to have played in it, seen its beauty, tasted the flakes.

“We can pay millions for world cups, festivals and events, but none of them brings as much joy and camaraderie as standing in the streets of Wellington as its snows, and grinning at everyone you see.” Ian Possum Richardson, via Facebook

How different would your day be if you chose not to worry what the weather was going to do tomorrow?

My friend gave me a ride to the airport this morning – I’m off to Wellington for a weekend Scout meeting.

As we pulled in to the drop-off area, I asked if it felt weird coming to the airport only to have to pass through and go to work for the day?

“It would be really nice to hop on a plane and go somewhere,” was the response.

Whilst my trip is hardly ‘exotic’ and has been quite regular over the last few years, it got me thinking…

Where would you fly to if I handed you an open ticket to anywhere?

And why?

 

As liberating as it is to be faced with endless opportunities, a clean slate can also be paralysing.

Which wonderful option should I choose? Which will be most enjoyable? Which will make the biggest difference? Which will be the most financially rewarding? Which will allow me to use most of my skills and talents?

By choosing just one (or two, or three…) I am effectively discarding the rest. But can I be sure the one(s) I pick are the ‘best’ option?

Simply put, I can’t guarantee that. Grrrrr…. frustrating!

The risk of ‘getting it wrong’ puts the decision-making process into molasses. Thick, sticky molasses. On a sunny day the options all seem possible, and I make progress towards those that are most desirable. On a ‘dark day’ my head spins with an exasperating cycle of optimism and negativity. Nothing gets done.

I ‘know’ logically the process I’m going through, yet I’m surprised at how I’ve been ‘feeling’ as I go through it. Quite the adventure with no map!

The solution?

Talking about it has helped. Sharing openly with folk who don’t intend to ‘solve’. They just listen and support and believe.

I am soooo fortunate to have such brilliant friends. Love you lots 🙂