Archives for posts with tag: feeling

Each time I scoot through the supermarket checkout the staff member behind the till asks me “So are you having a busy day?”.

This puzzles me. Why has this question become a stock-standard rapport-building, time-of-day-passing, anything-but-the-weather topic?

When did ‘being busy’ become a marker for a successful day? An important day? A day well lived?

I don’t actually want to be busy.

I want to be cruisy, yet productive.

Hmmm… on second thoughts, some days don’t even need to be productive. Unless I include relaxation, mental health, contentment and peace into the ‘productive’ category.

How about you? Are you busy?

Deep down I know the decision has already been made.

The time has come to end this.

Yet the history, the shared experiences, the memories, the friendships, the fun, the learning… all get in the way of consciously standing tall and saying “Thank you. I’m done.”

I’ve lost count how many years I have been intertwined with the organisation. It has provided me education and inspiration. It’s members have provided brains to pick, ears to listen and shoulders to lean on. I like to think I have been able to return the favour along the way.

Can I put my finger on the ‘why’? Why do I want to step back? Why now?

No. It’s simply a feeling that won’t go away.

It’s time to say good-bye to that feeling.

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The original post ended here. Within minutes of the link appearing on Facebook I was receiving concerned messages and phone calls from worried friends who had read between the lines and were worried about me. Thus, please continue reading for ‘more’…

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When I read back over what I wrote just a few short hours ago, I can now see why people were concerned. I should have written “The time has come to end this relationship” or something similar.

What’s it all about? For 10+ years I’ve been a member of the National Speakers Association of New Zealand. This morning I resigned.

Saying good-bye hurts. Whether it’s a relationship with someone you love(d), a favourite piece of worn-out clothing or even letting go one option in favour of another, they all come with a sense of loss.

This post was simply sharing how I was feeling. I won’t pretend that since completing my trek everything has been rosy – in fact the past few years have been amongst the most challenging I’ve encountered. I continue my search for my ‘bounce’, which I sense is lurking not far away, but still tantalisingly out of reach, or hidden, or waiting…

I am humbled by how people are looking out for me and more importantly, took the initiative to make contact when they sensed something was amiss. To you all – thank you.