Archives for posts with tag: Frustration

How many possessions do you have that were given to you by someone else, and you wish they hadn’t?

They had the best of intentions – they wanted to say ‘thank you’ or to show they care about me or to fill a perceived need. And now I’m stuck with an item that I don’t either a) use or b) love.

Am I really stuck with it? What’s getting in the way of me passing it on to someone else?

Fear.

Fear that I might actually need it one day.

Fear that the giver might ask about the item. Could I truthfully tell them I no longer had it?

Fear that I will be seen as ungrateful.

Fear that I might hurt their feelings.

As good as this post is by ‘The Minimalists’ (Getting Rid of Gifts) the 75 comments by readers are the most interesting. It seems I’m not alone in wanting to find a way to keep my physical footprint small whilst still allowing people to ‘give’ to me, and me to them.

Roll on the Christmas experiment…  😉

Answer me this: what percentage of secondary school students do you believe are bored by their weekday routine?

  • If students are bored, they’re unmotivated to be in class.
  • If they’re unmotivated to be in class, they will never rush to get out of bed and into their day.
  • If they’re uninspired by their day, will they enthusiastically follow their passion?
  • And if they don’t follow their passion, are they destined to hate their eventual employment, joining the burgeoning mass of ‘I would rather be anywhere than here’ workers?

Seth Godin raises a great question in this post:

“Here’s the question every parent and taxpayer needs to wrestle with: Are we going to applaud, push or even permit our schools (including most of the private ones) to continue the safe but ultimately doomed strategy of churning out predictable, testable and mediocre factory-workers?”

…and he finishes with:

“The post-industrial revolution is here. Do you care enough to teach your kids to take advantage of it?”

What do you reckon? Is a no-longer-relevant system (with an output of ‘bored kids’) a contributing factor for tagging, shoplifting, unemployment, suicide, violence…?

What will it take for the system to change?

A new acquaintance asked me today what it is I do for a living.

I struggled to answer.

Fumbling and mumbling and stuttering I tried to explain how “I can coach people, and deliver development workshops and training, give after-dinner speeches, act as a master of ceremonies for conferences and sometimes I help small businesses with their marketing communication or where-to-from-here strategy thinking, and can run team-building-with-impact programmes… oh, and I have executive board experience and have been interviewed on TV and my writing has been published in books, magazines, newpapers and online.”

Not exactly a succinct reply, huh? I was embarrassed at how wishy-washy and muddled I was sounding. Granted it was a Sunday, but even so!

Trying to escape, I bounced the question back at him.

“I’m a family lawyer,” he said.

Oh. Four words and I ‘get’ what he does. Nicely labelled, fitting perfectly in the box called ‘law’.

I’ve tried in the past to tell people what solution I provide: “I help parents and teens get on better” or “I move people closer to their potential” or “I help teams understand how their diversity can actually be a strength.” But it’s still a bit vague, non-concrete, fuzzy.

As much as I love doing lots of different things and having skills in a wide range of areas, today I wish I could – in one breath – explain ‘what’ I do.

Or at least get closer to describing the value I provide.

<sigh>

As liberating as it is to be faced with endless opportunities, a clean slate can also be paralysing.

Which wonderful option should I choose? Which will be most enjoyable? Which will make the biggest difference? Which will be the most financially rewarding? Which will allow me to use most of my skills and talents?

By choosing just one (or two, or three…) I am effectively discarding the rest. But can I be sure the one(s) I pick are the ‘best’ option?

Simply put, I can’t guarantee that. Grrrrr…. frustrating!

The risk of ‘getting it wrong’ puts the decision-making process into molasses. Thick, sticky molasses. On a sunny day the options all seem possible, and I make progress towards those that are most desirable. On a ‘dark day’ my head spins with an exasperating cycle of optimism and negativity. Nothing gets done.

I ‘know’ logically the process I’m going through, yet I’m surprised at how I’ve been ‘feeling’ as I go through it. Quite the adventure with no map!

The solution?

Talking about it has helped. Sharing openly with folk who don’t intend to ‘solve’. They just listen and support and believe.

I am soooo fortunate to have such brilliant friends. Love you lots 🙂